582. I believe my life is like a jeepney and I am the driver. Some people are coming in and out of my life. Some of them I remember, some of them I don't. But you? You will always be my special passenger.
583. Good morning! May Christ shine in everything you do. With a prayer that you'll be safe not only today but always. God bless.
584. I might have forgotten to tell your worth. I might have missed to say you're appreciated. But your existence goes beyond my happiness and that no words can ever express how fulfilled I am of you being my friend.
585. Life is a continuous challenge, a constant struggle from womb to tomb. We are not made rich by what is in our pockets, but by what is in our hearts.
586. Friendship is like a job. At first, we are applicants, then we become contractuals and if our performance is good, we become regular. Except for one thing, a friend can work even without salary.
587. He said, "I'm sorry if you can't love me the way you loved the one before me, so I'll let you go to find him and hope someday, you'll see that the one true love you are looking for is the one who set you free."
588. Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved. - Victor Hugo, Les Miserables.
589. The person meant for you is the person who will love you even when there's no more reason to love you. For in your nothingness, the one meant for you will find what's lovable in you.
590. When things turn out bad and your strength is no longer enough to carry them, you must never give up, because when your strength ends, my worth as your friend begins.
591. Sometimes, we are in love in the idea of falling in love. Loving the illusion of having or missing someone. It's alright to feel happy thru other people, but don't get dependent on achieving happiness by being with someone. Love yourself first before sharing your life with somebody, because if you don't, you will always look for people that you think can make you complete. And in the end, it will make you lose yourself more, bit by bit, piece by piece.
592. Do you know why God created gaps between fingers? So that someday, the one who is made by God for you will come and fill those gaps by holding your hands forever.
593. Forget the things that made you sad and remember those that made you glad. Forget the troubles that passed away and remember the blessings that come each day. Good morning!
594. When you miss someone, your heart starts to shout that person's name. For some reason, my heart just won't stop shouting your name. I guess, you are smart enough to figure out what I mean. =)
595. Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you felt so empty for no reason? Have you ever felt so down but you just can't tell why? Have you ever felt like the world suddenly spins around you, and you are caught in the middle going nowhere? Weird, isn't it? But that's the beauty of being human... it is knowing that there is a purpose for each existence, and whatever that may be, it is also the reason why we still wake up breathing each morning, to discover that missing piece of puzzle that would make our lives complete. Have a nice sleep!
596. Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it or work around it. Good morning!
597. Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet bowl. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush.
598. Hubby and wife travelling by car, not talking after quarrel. Passing farm of goats, mules and pigs, hubby asked sarcastically, "Relative of yours?" Wife replied, "Yup, in-laws!"
599. Can you beat this logic? A man and his wife were getting divorce at a local court. The mother wants the custody of their children, but the father also wants the same. The mother said to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain the custody of them. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from the chair and said, "Judge, if I put a dollar into a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belongs to me or to the machine?"
600. A man reads a book in bed next to his wife and his finger went to tickle his wife's pussy. Wife asks, "You want sex?" "No, just to wet my fingers to turn the page!"
601. May mga lalakeng ok sa malayuan, talo naman sa malapitan. Tawag sa kanila, mga lalakeng uy! ay! Uy! Ang cute nya! Ay, bading pala! Sapul ba? Toink!
602. Apo: Lola, 99 na kayo ni lolo, ano ang ikinamatay nya kanina? Lola: Apo, nagmake-love kami. Sinasabayan nya ang church bell, dahan-dahan lang. Kaso, may dumaang sorbetero. =)
603. Mag-asawa, nag-aaway. Babae: Punyeta ka! Lalake: Punyeta ka rin! Babae: Tarantado! Lalake: Tarantado ka rin! Babae: Supot! Lalake: Yun nga lang... =)
604. Man1: May tatlong joke ako. Man2: Ano yun? Man1: Joke, joke joke!
605. Sexy girl nagkukumpisal. Priest: O iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal? Sexy: Father, kapag nakakarinig po ako ng lalakeng nagmumura, hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong yayain syang magsex. Priest: Put*ng ina, hindi nga?! =)
606. Kagabi, nanaginip ako, kumakain daw ako ng cotton candy. Maraming cotton candy. Pagkagising ko, wala na ang unan ko!
607. Bawat kabataan, may karapatan. Karapatang gumala, umuwi anytime, makipagdate sa dyowa. Magalit man ang parents mo, sabihin mo, "Sa bahay na ito, ako ang batas!" Sabay takbo!
608. Minsan, puro ako biro, laging parang nakadrugs, lagi na lang nakatawa. Pero sana, maniwala ka sa akin, nagseseryoso din ako. Ako, ako ang magliligtas sa mundo, maniwala ka pare. =)
609. Babala: Huwag laruin ang puso ng babae dahil nag-iisa lang ito. Ok lang laruin ang suso, dalawa naman ito.
610. Son: Itay, pinagalitan ako ng titser ko! Dad: Bakit? Son: Hinalikan ko po ang seatmate ko. Dad: Tong anak ko, manang mana. Hehehe. Eh, masarap ba? Son: Opo, pogi po sya eh.
611. Juan: Inay, si Pedro, hindi ako pinagkape sa burol ng tatay nya. Nanay: Hayaan mo anak, kapag namatay ang tatay mo, hindi rin natin sya pagkakapehin.
612. Shhh, ayon sa survey, sa ganitong oras daw, ang mga cute ay nagtetext na at ang mga pangit ay nagbabasa pa! Hehehe! Ipasa mo, dali! Para ikaw naman ang cute!
613. Read each word reversely. A suomaf rotcod dlot em taht ylno latnem stneitap evah eht tnelat ot daer SMS neve nehw sti nettirw ylesrever. Oh, nabasa mo?
614. Prof: Meron bang tanga dito sa klase? Kung meron, tumayo! (May tumayong estudyante.) Prof: Tanga ka ba? Estudyante: Naawa lang ako sa iyo sir. Ikaw lang ang nakatayo eh, samahan na kita.
615. Ngayon ay araw ng mga magaganda at gwapo, mga sexy at matalino. Send this sa taong iniisip mong bumabagay sa message na ito. Huwag mo nang isend sa akin dahil libo-libo na ang natanggap ko!
616. Ei! Baka may friend ka na gustong magwork. P18,500 ang starting. Sa palengke nga lang... tagalista ng noisy!
617. Mrs: Naniniwala ka ba na ang babae habang tumatanda ay gumaganda? Mr: Oo naman. Mrs: Sa tingin mo, gumaganda ba ako? Mr: Sa tingin ko, hindi ka tumatanda.
618. Amo: Inday, titira dito ang biyenan ko ng 3 buwan. Ito ang listahan ng mga favorite nyang pagkain. Maid: Opo, sir. Amo: Kapag may niluto ka dyan, lagot ka sa akin!
619. Kulas: Siopao nga, yung babae. Waitress: Babae? Kulas: Oo, yung may papel na sapin, parang napkin. Waitress: Ah! Lalake ang nandito. Kulas: Lalake? Waitress: May itlog po!
620. Babae: Doc, kumusta na ang asawa ko? Doc: Sorry ma'am. Mula ngayon, ikaw na ang magpapakain at magpapaligo sa kanya, kasi, putol na ang kanyang mga kamay at paa. Babae: Hah?! Hindi nga?! Doc: Hehehe! Ninerbyos ka ano? Joke lang! Patay na sya!