272. It's really hard to wait for the right person in your life especially when the wrong ones are so cute!
273. What if you love the wrong person? Are you going to give up or hold on? Maybe you need to do nothing, just continue loving. Who knows? Maybe that love might be enough to make that person the right one.
274. I can never say how my life would go and how long I'd stay alive. All I know is that even we're miles apart, you'd always be one of the sweetest piece of puzzle completing my life.
275. Masarap magmahal kung ikaw lang ang mahal nya. Masarap magmahal kung talagang seryoso sya. Pero wala nang mas sasarap pa kung sasabihin nya, "Alam mo, kuntento na ko sayo..."
276. I may not be there when you need me, but a part of me laughs when you're happy and cries when you're sad, the other part stays strong to pray for you. That's the best thing a far friend can do.
277. Mahirap idaan sa walang kibo. Mahirap idaan sa walang salita. Mahirap idaan sa pag-iyak. Kung mahal mo sya, bakit di mo sabihin sa kanya? Malay mo? Malay ko din! :)
278. The moment you found someone that makes your heart beat, stop the search and take the risk. Remember that the world is a big place that if you lost the one you love, you have to search the world again.
279. Hindi mo raw agad malalamang mahal mo na ang isang tao, madalas kasi bulag ka sa totoo at akala mo iba ang gusto mo. Pero sa huli, mararamdaman mong mahal mo na pala sya, kapag nalaman mong... iba na ang mahal niya.
280. I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!
281. Come here. Take off your pants and get on top of me. Enjoy me until you're totally satisfied. Lovingly yours, Toilet!!!!
282. Mirror Mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all? The mirror laughed and then it spat. "It sure ain't you. You ugly prat!"
283. Tell me. Is it going in? Yeah! Is it hurting? Ooh yeah, Ouch! it's hurting! Ok, I will put it in slowly. Still hurting? Ahh yeah. Then let's try the other shoe, madam.
284. When I look at the sun, I see you! When I look at the moon, I see you! When I look at the sea, I see you. Well, get out of my way!
285. It goes in dry, it comes out wet. The longer it's in, the stronger it gets. We can have it in bed, just you and me. It's not what you think, it's a cup of tea!
286. Last night, I wanted you. I needed you so badly that it hurts. I wanted to taste you. I wanted you in me so you could work your magic on me, but I couldn't find you. You stupid.. paracetamol!
287. I only have *ex on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!
288. There are many things about tomorrow I don't understand, but I know who holds tomorrow and I know He holds our hands. To Him I pray that He’d hold yours tighter and always let your days be brighter.
289. Friendship is like a song that after we hear it, we still hum the melody as we live through life. You're my song that never runs out of tune in my heart.
290. Life is unpredictable. You may not live long and miss out telling your friends that they're appreciated. So I'm telling you now that life won't be the same without you as one of my friends.
291. I've tried the water company, the electric company, the telephone company, but what I miss most is your company. Take care!
292. At times you may not find me, but in my heart, you will always be found. If time never stands still, I will never leave your side, it may be hard for me, but I will still hang in here for you.
293. Don’t love the person that you think is right. Instead love the person you think is true. It’s easier to think what is right than to see what is true.
294. There are eight ways to describe you… jolly, optimist, kyut, exotic, lovable, attractive, nice, gorgeous! In short J-O-K-E L-A-N-G!
295. You are my funny, understanding, cute, kind, intelligent, naughty, God-fearing, sweet, honest, independent, truthful friend. In short, you are my f.u.c.k.i.n.g.s.h.i.t. friend!
296. Sa magkakaibigan, dapat nagtutulungan. Kapag nadapa ka, tutulungan kita! Kapag nadapa ka ulit, itatayo kita at kapag nadapa ka na naman, sisipain na kita! Langya! Kinarir mo nah, lampa!
297. Q: What’s the difference between bathing suits before and now? A: Before, you have to open the suit to see the butt. Now, you have to open the butt to see the suit!
298. In the desert, man trying to rape a camel, but he was kicked. Then he saw a beautiful lady asking for water. "As payment you can do anything you want." Man said, "Could you hold the feet of the camel?"
299. Si miss, first time nagpa-physical check-up. DOC: O iha, huwag kang mahiya sa akin, hubarin mo na damit mo para maumpisahan ko na ang physical check up mo. MISS: umhh… si dok naman.. sige na nga, pero kayo muna.
300. Naglalakad, nagtetext, nasagasaan, patay. Kumakain, nagtetext, nabilaukan, patay. Nagdadrive, nagtetext, nabangga, patay. May cellphone, walang nagtetext, nagpakamatay.
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